Be honest. Are you waking up this morning and dragging yourself into your workplace? Deep down you know you are intended for so much more than what you are presently doing. Or perhaps, you don’t have a job and you are faced with another daunting day filled with trying to find a job – any job – and deep down you wish you could be so lucky as to be in a job you don’t like. Or maybe, you just found out yesterday that you have a critical illness and literally you are starting the fight of your life.
Struggle. It’s the one thing we are all guaranteed to experience in life, and the one thing most people try to avoid. Have you ever actually read the definition of struggle? It means “to progress with difficulty”.
The interesting thing about struggling is that there is little else in this world that can produce such positive effects in your life – if you allow it to do its work. There’s this great song by Mary Mary and in it the lyrics say:
“Can’t be mad at the things you been through cuz they built your muscle
Now you’re stronger than you ever been they can’t stop your hustle”
Take a moment to reflect on that. Do you remember when you were a teenager and certain life events felt like “the end of the world” – and now you look back and laugh because you’re now an adult and have had to face so much more? We begin learning this lesson from the time we are children over, and over, and over. Yet, when difficulty comes our way we still ask “Why me?”
Well, here’s the good news. You’re not special. lol. The universe is not conspiring against you to bring only “you” a struggle. Life is struggle for anyone who has breath in their lungs. You can take that to the bank. The question is not “if” life will bring you a struggle but “when” or more accurately “how often”.
Each and every time you are provided an opportunity to grow.
Whether it is learning how to interact with the difficult people in your life in a way that brings respect to the situation, making lifestyle changes to improve your health, or learning a new skill to change your future – each and every opportunity to transform has struggle at its root.
What this means is that whatever difficult moment you are facing today, is an opportunity for you to become strong. As you walk into a job you hate, a conversation you dread, a gym that intimidates, or a terrifying doctor’s appointment – determine to look for the lessons in what you are facing. Look back and see how it is building your muscle in that area.
Over the years I began referring to my various life challenges as my “training ground”. Whenever I was faced with a fight of some kind I would take a deep breath and say to myself, “Well, how else am I going to learn?” Then I’d make the decision to view the situation as a challenge to overcome. I’d determine who my coach would be to help get me through – a trusted friend or mentor – because it’s important to have someone in your corner who has more experience than you and can guide you. (By the way, this applies whether you are 8 or 80. There is always someone with more experience.) In the midst of the fight, when it got really difficult they’d pull me aside, give me a pep talk, point out my strengths, show me where I was making any mistakes, make me take a drink of water, pat me on the shoulder and say “Now get back in there.”
The result? I can handle things today that I never could have just a few years ago. I look back on situations that were difficult at the time like an adult looking back on their childhood – and I’m grateful – because I’ve learned a great deal. The ladies of Mary Mary put it this way:
“It’s alright to crawl before you walk it’s alright to walk before you run
But if you wanna get what you never got gotta do something that you never done”
I couldn’t have said it better myself!